The Movie: Nicholas Nickleby, 2002 (Douglas McGrath, director and screenwriter, from the novel by Charles Dickens)
Who says it: Nathan Lane as Vincent Crummles, theatrical impresario
The context: Vincent gives his blessing to Nicholas Nickleby (Charlie Hunnam) when Nicholas leaves the company to confront his wicked Uncle Ralph (Christopher Plummer)
How to use it: General life wisdom.
More than once over the past twelve months, I've described my year as Dickensian -- but, in the great tradition of Mr. Dickens' novels, it's ending far better than I had any right to expect.
Thanks, everybody. See you next year.
Friday, December 31, 2004
Thursday, December 30, 2004
“Live! Life’s a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death.”
The Movie: Auntie Mame, 1958 (Betty Comden and Adolph Green, screenwriters, from the book by Patrick Dennis; Morton Da Costa, dir.)
Who says it: Rosalind Russell as Mame Dennis, international bon vivant and would-be author
The context: Mame has been dictating a book to her secretary, Agnes Gooch (Peggy Cass), but Agnes isn’t getting the point.
How to use it: When you need an extra dose of enthusiasm.
Yesterday's trip: 214 miles, .5 tank of gas
Stops: Mechanicsville, VA; Washington, DC
Dizzy and I are back at Ashton & Joseph's, after stopping in Mechanicsville to hang out with my sister Peggy and her boys. The weather was unseasonably warm, so we put the boys in their red wagon and went for a long walk. Neighbors of Peggy's have created a Christmas Fantasyland in their yard, at the end of a cul-de-sac; every spare inch of lawn is covered with a Christmas decoration of some kind, and it all lights up. I respect that level of commitment, although I might not want to live across the street from it.
Milo and Lucy were delighted to see Dizzy. I think Dizzy is a little confused about all the traveling, though he seems happy to see everybody. He's comatose next to me right now, and seems to be chasing something in his sleep.
My friend Carla, in Singapore, sent an e-mail last night (this morning, her time). Since Singapore is east of Sumatra, they didn't even feel the earthquake, which happened off the west coast of Sumatra -- but they know some people who are now missing. It is possible, even likely, that we'll never have an exact toll of the dead from this disaster; if an entire family is wiped out, or an entire town, who would be left to remember their names?
Who says it: Rosalind Russell as Mame Dennis, international bon vivant and would-be author
The context: Mame has been dictating a book to her secretary, Agnes Gooch (Peggy Cass), but Agnes isn’t getting the point.
How to use it: When you need an extra dose of enthusiasm.
Yesterday's trip: 214 miles, .5 tank of gas
Stops: Mechanicsville, VA; Washington, DC
Dizzy and I are back at Ashton & Joseph's, after stopping in Mechanicsville to hang out with my sister Peggy and her boys. The weather was unseasonably warm, so we put the boys in their red wagon and went for a long walk. Neighbors of Peggy's have created a Christmas Fantasyland in their yard, at the end of a cul-de-sac; every spare inch of lawn is covered with a Christmas decoration of some kind, and it all lights up. I respect that level of commitment, although I might not want to live across the street from it.
Milo and Lucy were delighted to see Dizzy. I think Dizzy is a little confused about all the traveling, though he seems happy to see everybody. He's comatose next to me right now, and seems to be chasing something in his sleep.
My friend Carla, in Singapore, sent an e-mail last night (this morning, her time). Since Singapore is east of Sumatra, they didn't even feel the earthquake, which happened off the west coast of Sumatra -- but they know some people who are now missing. It is possible, even likely, that we'll never have an exact toll of the dead from this disaster; if an entire family is wiped out, or an entire town, who would be left to remember their names?
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
“When you’re a kid, a day can last forever. Now, all those years seem just like a blink.”
The Movie: Hearts in Atlantis, 2001 (William Goldman, screenwriter, from the novella Low Men in Yellow Coats, by Stephen King; Scott Hicks, dir.)
Who says it: David Morse as the adult Bobby Garfield
The context: Bobby is remembering the events of one pivotal summer during his childhood.
How to use it: At high school reunions, whenever you meet old friends, or right around New Year's Eve.
Dizzy and I head back to Washington today, stopping in Richmond along the way. Maybe I'll be back for my parents' 40th wedding anniversary, in February, but Dizzy probably won't come along on that trip.
Salon magazine's lead article today is a brilliant debunking of The Da Vinci Code, my second most-hated book of all time. (#1 remains Bridges of Madison County, which I ripped in two and stomped on when I finished -- weeping, of course, but still enraged beyond vision or reason. I borrowed Da Vinci Code from a friend, so felt obligated to return it in decent condition.)
I read a lot of books -- between 250 and 300 a year, probably -- and can find something kind to say about almost all of them. I read Dan Brown's earlier book, Angels & Demons, on a plane, and thought it was pretty entertaining, though overwritten, clunky, and ultimately ridiculous. The Da Vinci Code is a lazy, sloppy rehash of Angels & Demons with an extra helping of anti-Catholic paranoia, and I have no idea what to say to all the people who've told me, in the past 18 months, that it's the greatest book ever.
This was a particular challenge during my long Sunday shifts alone at The Mystery Bookstore. All I could do was propel them, sometimes physically, to the "P" section of the bookshelf, and thrust any Douglas Preston-Lincoln Child thriller upon these people. (My own favorite is Thunderhead, but they're all good.) Preston & Child understand that it's okay to make the big stuff up if you get the small details right. It's just a matter of respect for your readers.
Who says it: David Morse as the adult Bobby Garfield
The context: Bobby is remembering the events of one pivotal summer during his childhood.
How to use it: At high school reunions, whenever you meet old friends, or right around New Year's Eve.
Dizzy and I head back to Washington today, stopping in Richmond along the way. Maybe I'll be back for my parents' 40th wedding anniversary, in February, but Dizzy probably won't come along on that trip.
Salon magazine's lead article today is a brilliant debunking of The Da Vinci Code, my second most-hated book of all time. (#1 remains Bridges of Madison County, which I ripped in two and stomped on when I finished -- weeping, of course, but still enraged beyond vision or reason. I borrowed Da Vinci Code from a friend, so felt obligated to return it in decent condition.)
I read a lot of books -- between 250 and 300 a year, probably -- and can find something kind to say about almost all of them. I read Dan Brown's earlier book, Angels & Demons, on a plane, and thought it was pretty entertaining, though overwritten, clunky, and ultimately ridiculous. The Da Vinci Code is a lazy, sloppy rehash of Angels & Demons with an extra helping of anti-Catholic paranoia, and I have no idea what to say to all the people who've told me, in the past 18 months, that it's the greatest book ever.
This was a particular challenge during my long Sunday shifts alone at The Mystery Bookstore. All I could do was propel them, sometimes physically, to the "P" section of the bookshelf, and thrust any Douglas Preston-Lincoln Child thriller upon these people. (My own favorite is Thunderhead, but they're all good.) Preston & Child understand that it's okay to make the big stuff up if you get the small details right. It's just a matter of respect for your readers.
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
“Stupid is as stupid does.”
The Movie: Forrest Gump, 1994 (Eric Roth, screenwriter, from the novel by Winston Groom; Robert Zemeckis, dir.)
Who says it: Tom Hanks as Forrest Gump, a childlike man
The context: Forrest repeats this line throughout the film, whenever anyone says that he’s stupid.
How to use it: To admit that you've done something stupid.
I'm sure I'll find some use for this line by the end of the day, though nothing springs immediately to mind.
Since I write this blog primarily for my mom, keeping it up when I'm at my parents' house is surprisingly difficult. Stephen King talks about this phenomenon in his memoir, On Writing. On Writing is fascinating as memoir, not especially helpful as a guide for writers -- except for King's suggestion that writers target their work toward one particular reader. In his case, he says, that's his wife, Tabitha.
I'm not sure why this feels like such useful advice. Part of my difficulty with finishing the novel I've been working on is that I've gotten too much feedback on it; returning to it, I need to find one particular person whose comments I respect, whose ultimate approval I'm looking for. I know that's contrary to conventional wisdom about self-esteem, but it makes sense to me.
Who says it: Tom Hanks as Forrest Gump, a childlike man
The context: Forrest repeats this line throughout the film, whenever anyone says that he’s stupid.
How to use it: To admit that you've done something stupid.
I'm sure I'll find some use for this line by the end of the day, though nothing springs immediately to mind.
Since I write this blog primarily for my mom, keeping it up when I'm at my parents' house is surprisingly difficult. Stephen King talks about this phenomenon in his memoir, On Writing. On Writing is fascinating as memoir, not especially helpful as a guide for writers -- except for King's suggestion that writers target their work toward one particular reader. In his case, he says, that's his wife, Tabitha.
I'm not sure why this feels like such useful advice. Part of my difficulty with finishing the novel I've been working on is that I've gotten too much feedback on it; returning to it, I need to find one particular person whose comments I respect, whose ultimate approval I'm looking for. I know that's contrary to conventional wisdom about self-esteem, but it makes sense to me.
Monday, December 27, 2004
“A toast, to the end of the world.”
The Movie: Independence Day, 1996 (Dean Devlin & Roland Emmerich, screenwriters; Roland Emmerich, dir.)
Who says it: Jeff Goldblum as David Levinson, an under-achieving scientist
The context: David has just been reconciled with his father, Julius (Judd Hirsch), as aliens prepare to destroy the world.
How to use it: After natural disasters, or in the face of catastrophe.
Every time I see my friend Michelle and her husband Chris, Chris asks me to tell "your Hollywood pals" to make a sequel to Independence Day. I've never passed this message along -- sorry, Chris -- mainly because I wouldn't know whom to tell, but also because I think they've made sequels to Independence Day, except they were called Armageddon and The Day After Tomorrow.
The headline on the front page of this morning's paper says, "12,000 DEAD," and it's a horror I can't get my head around. All yesterday afternoon I kept checking for news updates, as the TV networks broadcast stupid movies and meaningless football games. I haven't heard from my friends in Singapore, but maybe they're just having a computer-free Christmas weekend.
Who says it: Jeff Goldblum as David Levinson, an under-achieving scientist
The context: David has just been reconciled with his father, Julius (Judd Hirsch), as aliens prepare to destroy the world.
How to use it: After natural disasters, or in the face of catastrophe.
Every time I see my friend Michelle and her husband Chris, Chris asks me to tell "your Hollywood pals" to make a sequel to Independence Day. I've never passed this message along -- sorry, Chris -- mainly because I wouldn't know whom to tell, but also because I think they've made sequels to Independence Day, except they were called Armageddon and The Day After Tomorrow.
The headline on the front page of this morning's paper says, "12,000 DEAD," and it's a horror I can't get my head around. All yesterday afternoon I kept checking for news updates, as the TV networks broadcast stupid movies and meaningless football games. I haven't heard from my friends in Singapore, but maybe they're just having a computer-free Christmas weekend.
Sunday, December 26, 2004
“It’s such a fine line between clever, and stupid.”
The Movie: This is Spinal Tap, 1984 (Christopher Guest, Michael McKean, Harry Shearer and Rob Reiner, screenwriters; Rob Reiner, dir.)
Who says it: Michael McKean as David St. Hubbins, a founding member of Spinal Tap
The context: St. Hubbins is commenting on the difference between Spinal Tap’s unacceptable album cover and another band’s wild hit.
How to use it: After conversational gaffes.
My sister Susan gave me this DVD for Christmas, which I appreciate very much -- I own it on VHS, which is useless since I haven't owned a VCR in years. Besides, the DVD has all kinds of cool extra features that I haven't even begun to explore.
It's snowing here. Dizzy was shocked. I'd planned to take him to the beach today, but will probably reschedule.
Who says it: Michael McKean as David St. Hubbins, a founding member of Spinal Tap
The context: St. Hubbins is commenting on the difference between Spinal Tap’s unacceptable album cover and another band’s wild hit.
How to use it: After conversational gaffes.
My sister Susan gave me this DVD for Christmas, which I appreciate very much -- I own it on VHS, which is useless since I haven't owned a VCR in years. Besides, the DVD has all kinds of cool extra features that I haven't even begun to explore.
It's snowing here. Dizzy was shocked. I'd planned to take him to the beach today, but will probably reschedule.
Saturday, December 25, 2004
“Here is my Christmas speech. ‘Thank you all, and Merry Christmas.’”
The Movie: The Muppet Christmas Carol, 1992 (Jerry Juhl, screenwriter, from the story by Charles Dickens; Brian Henson, dir.)
Who says it: Frank Oz as the voice of Fozzie Bear, playing Scrooge’s employer Fezziwig
The context: Fezziwig is throwing his traditional Christmas party for his workers, including a young Ebenezer Scrooge (Michael Caine).
How to use it: When called upon to make a Christmas speech. As Statler (Jerry Nelson) and Waldorf (Dave Goelz) point out in the movie, it’s short.
The whole family isn't together this year, but my brother James is coming over and Susan, Peggy and Scott and the boys are driving down from Richmond this morning, and everyone is healthy and cheerful.
Merry Christmas to everyone, and tidings of comfort and joy. I'm taking the rest of the day off.
Who says it: Frank Oz as the voice of Fozzie Bear, playing Scrooge’s employer Fezziwig
The context: Fezziwig is throwing his traditional Christmas party for his workers, including a young Ebenezer Scrooge (Michael Caine).
How to use it: When called upon to make a Christmas speech. As Statler (Jerry Nelson) and Waldorf (Dave Goelz) point out in the movie, it’s short.
The whole family isn't together this year, but my brother James is coming over and Susan, Peggy and Scott and the boys are driving down from Richmond this morning, and everyone is healthy and cheerful.
Merry Christmas to everyone, and tidings of comfort and joy. I'm taking the rest of the day off.
Friday, December 24, 2004
"You have no idea."
The Movie: Reversal of Fortune, 1990 (Nicholas Kazan, screenwriter, based on the book by Alan M. Dershowitz; Barbet Schroeder, dir.)
Who says it: Jeremy Irons as Claus von Bulow, accused of the attempted murder of his wife, Sunny (Glenn Close)
The context: Alan Dershowitz (Ron Silver) tells his client, Claus von Bulow, that he is a very strange man.
How to use it: To let someone know that they’ve only heard a fraction of the story.
My friend Tom Ehrenfeld says this is the greatest quotation ever. It's pretty good, but you don't get the full effect if you haven't seen the movie. It's Jeremy Irons' finest hour. The point of Reversal of Fortune was that it's possible to be a dreadful human being, but still not a murderer -- an argument since made, with varying degrees of success, by OJ Simpson, Gary Condit and Scott Peterson, among others.
It's Christmas Eve (my mind automatically adds, "in the drunk tank..." from the Pogues song, "Fairytale of New York"), and I drove down to my parents' yesterday with Dizzy and my brother Ed. This morning I tried to go to the bank and to the gym, but both were closed. I always feel a little indignant about three-day weekends; Saturday's just another day for us freelancers, so what do people need with THREE days off?
Then again, people who work in offices can't nap in the middle of their working days.
Who says it: Jeremy Irons as Claus von Bulow, accused of the attempted murder of his wife, Sunny (Glenn Close)
The context: Alan Dershowitz (Ron Silver) tells his client, Claus von Bulow, that he is a very strange man.
How to use it: To let someone know that they’ve only heard a fraction of the story.
My friend Tom Ehrenfeld says this is the greatest quotation ever. It's pretty good, but you don't get the full effect if you haven't seen the movie. It's Jeremy Irons' finest hour. The point of Reversal of Fortune was that it's possible to be a dreadful human being, but still not a murderer -- an argument since made, with varying degrees of success, by OJ Simpson, Gary Condit and Scott Peterson, among others.
It's Christmas Eve (my mind automatically adds, "in the drunk tank..." from the Pogues song, "Fairytale of New York"), and I drove down to my parents' yesterday with Dizzy and my brother Ed. This morning I tried to go to the bank and to the gym, but both were closed. I always feel a little indignant about three-day weekends; Saturday's just another day for us freelancers, so what do people need with THREE days off?
Then again, people who work in offices can't nap in the middle of their working days.
Thursday, December 23, 2004
“I believe – I believe! Even though it’s silly, I believe.”
The Movie: Miracle on 34th Street, 1947 (George Seaton, screenwriter and director, from a story by Valentine Davies)
Who says it: Natalie Wood as Susan Walker, daughter of a cynical Macy’s executive (Maureen O’Hara)
The context: Susan insists that Kris Kringle (Edmund Gwenn), Macy’s Santa Claus, is the real thing.
How to use it: To reassert your belief in Santa Claus, or in anything else allegedly mythical.
I understand that Santa Claus is a luxury only wealthy nations can afford. I know that Santa Claus probably won't save the children of the Sudan. And yet -- and yet -- I believe. Santa Claus might not be a physical human being who really lives at the north pole, but Santa Claus is the best explanation I have for the fact that, when I've asked the universe for something I really, really wanted -- not something stupid like an X-Box, but something important -- I've gotten it.
And sometimes I've gotten what I asked for even when it was stupid. All I asked Santa for this year was to win the Powerball, so last night I did win -- $3.00. Santa can be tricky that way.
Who says it: Natalie Wood as Susan Walker, daughter of a cynical Macy’s executive (Maureen O’Hara)
The context: Susan insists that Kris Kringle (Edmund Gwenn), Macy’s Santa Claus, is the real thing.
How to use it: To reassert your belief in Santa Claus, or in anything else allegedly mythical.
I understand that Santa Claus is a luxury only wealthy nations can afford. I know that Santa Claus probably won't save the children of the Sudan. And yet -- and yet -- I believe. Santa Claus might not be a physical human being who really lives at the north pole, but Santa Claus is the best explanation I have for the fact that, when I've asked the universe for something I really, really wanted -- not something stupid like an X-Box, but something important -- I've gotten it.
And sometimes I've gotten what I asked for even when it was stupid. All I asked Santa for this year was to win the Powerball, so last night I did win -- $3.00. Santa can be tricky that way.
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
“Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.”
The Movie: Casablanca, 1942 (Julius J. Epstein, Philip G. Epstein, and Howard Koch, screenwriters, from the play by Murray Burnett and Joan Allison; Michael Curtiz, dir.)
Who says it: Humphrey Bogart as Rick Blaine, owner of Rick’s American Café
The context: Rick has just seen Ilsa (Ingrid Bergman), his lost love, walk in with freedom fighter Victor Laszlo (Paul Henreid).
How to use it: When you meet an old friend unexpectedly.
It's not Gardiner, but Washington is a small town. I've been running around a lot the last couple of days, and along the way I've seen several people I hadn't expected to -- which, for the most part, has been nice. A friend said to me the other morning, "Your work family is still here," and that is true.
Washington is in its traditional post-election job shuffling mode, and if I wanted to come back, now's the time. I'm considering it more seriously than I'd thought I would. The past year has shown me the importance of a safety net; there's a lot to be said for the security of a salary, health insurance, a retirement plan.
Then again, I could win the lottery. If I remember to buy tickets today.
Who says it: Humphrey Bogart as Rick Blaine, owner of Rick’s American Café
The context: Rick has just seen Ilsa (Ingrid Bergman), his lost love, walk in with freedom fighter Victor Laszlo (Paul Henreid).
How to use it: When you meet an old friend unexpectedly.
It's not Gardiner, but Washington is a small town. I've been running around a lot the last couple of days, and along the way I've seen several people I hadn't expected to -- which, for the most part, has been nice. A friend said to me the other morning, "Your work family is still here," and that is true.
Washington is in its traditional post-election job shuffling mode, and if I wanted to come back, now's the time. I'm considering it more seriously than I'd thought I would. The past year has shown me the importance of a safety net; there's a lot to be said for the security of a salary, health insurance, a retirement plan.
Then again, I could win the lottery. If I remember to buy tickets today.
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
“When someone asks you if you’re a god, you say, ‘YES!’”
The Movie: Ghostbusters, 1984 (Dan Ackroyd and Harold Ramis, screenwriters; Ivan Reitman, dir.)
Who says it: Ernie Hudson as Winston Zeddemore, the fourth Ghostbuster
The context: When the Sumerian god Gozer (Slavitza Jovan) asks Dr. Ray Stantz (Dan Ackroyd) whether he’s a god, he says no – so she blasts him.
How to use it: To remind someone that confidence is half the game.
Dizzy is big, but gentle. Ashton and Joseph's two Boston terriers stand on their back paws and lean on his shoulders, and Dizzy does nothing but grumble a little. It's possible that he doesn't have a good sense of how big he is compared to Milo and Lucy, or maybe he just knows that being bigger means he has to be careful.
Whether and how to restrain one's natural powers is the central theme of The Incredibles, which I saw last night. Great movie. "When everyone is special," one of the kids says, "that means no one is." Ow.
Ashton & Joseph are off to Rome this afternoon, so I'll take care of Lucy and Milo for a couple of days before handing off the responsibility to Ashton's mom, Penny. More important, however, I need to remember to buy them some Powerball tickets before tomorrow night's drawing, because we asked Santa especially. I, at least, have plans for that $30 million.
Who says it: Ernie Hudson as Winston Zeddemore, the fourth Ghostbuster
The context: When the Sumerian god Gozer (Slavitza Jovan) asks Dr. Ray Stantz (Dan Ackroyd) whether he’s a god, he says no – so she blasts him.
How to use it: To remind someone that confidence is half the game.
Dizzy is big, but gentle. Ashton and Joseph's two Boston terriers stand on their back paws and lean on his shoulders, and Dizzy does nothing but grumble a little. It's possible that he doesn't have a good sense of how big he is compared to Milo and Lucy, or maybe he just knows that being bigger means he has to be careful.
Whether and how to restrain one's natural powers is the central theme of The Incredibles, which I saw last night. Great movie. "When everyone is special," one of the kids says, "that means no one is." Ow.
Ashton & Joseph are off to Rome this afternoon, so I'll take care of Lucy and Milo for a couple of days before handing off the responsibility to Ashton's mom, Penny. More important, however, I need to remember to buy them some Powerball tickets before tomorrow night's drawing, because we asked Santa especially. I, at least, have plans for that $30 million.
Monday, December 20, 2004
"I saw something nasty in the woodshed."
The Movie: Cold Comfort Farm, 1995 (Malcolm Bradbury, screenwriter, from the novel by Stella Gibbons; John Schlesinger, dir.)
Who says it: Sheila Burrell as Aunt Ada Doom, matriarch of Cold Comfort Farm
The context: A childhood trauma, barely remembered, gives Aunt Ada an excuse to sit in her room and have her family wait on her hand and foot.
How to use it: As a bare-faced plea for sympathy.
Ashton's mom, Penny, gave him the DVD of Cold Comfort Farm for Christmas, so we watched it last night. Classic. Penny had her Christmas open house, which was lovely, and we had both a thunderstorm and a snowstorm between the hours of 3:00 and 7:00 p.m.
Afterwards, we all (Ashton, Joseph, our friend Brian Cook) piled into Brian's car for some Christmas shopping at Pentagon City. Brian said, "Yes, we're going in 'You're still driving that thing?'" "That thing" is Sweet William, a 1993 Honda Civic in a color that I would call pink, Ashton calls purple, and Brian calls Metallic Cranberry. Brian inherited Sweet William from our friend Jack Hart, who died in 1997, and Brian's driven it across the country east-west and north-south more than once. In fact, I think it was Sweet William that took Anna up to Maine, when she first moved there. It's not just a car, it's a legend.
Who says it: Sheila Burrell as Aunt Ada Doom, matriarch of Cold Comfort Farm
The context: A childhood trauma, barely remembered, gives Aunt Ada an excuse to sit in her room and have her family wait on her hand and foot.
How to use it: As a bare-faced plea for sympathy.
Ashton's mom, Penny, gave him the DVD of Cold Comfort Farm for Christmas, so we watched it last night. Classic. Penny had her Christmas open house, which was lovely, and we had both a thunderstorm and a snowstorm between the hours of 3:00 and 7:00 p.m.
Afterwards, we all (Ashton, Joseph, our friend Brian Cook) piled into Brian's car for some Christmas shopping at Pentagon City. Brian said, "Yes, we're going in 'You're still driving that thing?'" "That thing" is Sweet William, a 1993 Honda Civic in a color that I would call pink, Ashton calls purple, and Brian calls Metallic Cranberry. Brian inherited Sweet William from our friend Jack Hart, who died in 1997, and Brian's driven it across the country east-west and north-south more than once. In fact, I think it was Sweet William that took Anna up to Maine, when she first moved there. It's not just a car, it's a legend.
Sunday, December 19, 2004
“Don’t get him wet. Keep him out of bright light. And never feed him after midnight.”
The Movie: Gremlins, 1984 (Chris Columbus, screenwriter; Joe Dante, dir.)
Who says it: Keye Luke as Mr. Wing; Hoyt Axton as inventor Randall Peltzer
The context: Mr. Wing gives Peltzer these instructions for the care and feeding of the mogwai Gizmo, and Peltzer passes the rules along to his son, Billy (Zach Galligan).
How to use it: To comment on any person or animal who seems excessively high-maintenance.
Happy birthday to Gary Fleder, cherished friend of my youth, who has actually grown up to do all the things he said he wanted to do when we were teenagers. Don't worry, Gary, this quotation is not about you.
In fact, I wasn't thinking of anyone in particular; I just wanted a quotation from Gremlins, because no one ever mentions Gremlins when they talk about great Christmas movies. The movie is a very dark cautionary tale about what happens to people who don't take proper care of their belongings... I wouldn't show it to kids, because it's quite scary and violent, and Phoebe Cates' character's story about why she hates Christmas is awful.
Ashton and I were all over Washington yesterday -- downtown, Foggy Bottom, Chevy Chase, Friendship Heights -- doing some Christmas shopping. Driving around Washington takes time, because the city was not designed for automobiles; it was designed, at least in part, to prevent an invading army from moving across town quickly.
I've been thinking about whether to look for part-time work in Portland, just to get me out of the apartment a few times a week, but the idea of the 45-minute drive from Gardiner to Portland gave me pause. Then I remembered that on any given day in Washington, it could take me 45 minutes to drive the four miles from my old house in upper Northwest to my office on 18th Street.
Who says it: Keye Luke as Mr. Wing; Hoyt Axton as inventor Randall Peltzer
The context: Mr. Wing gives Peltzer these instructions for the care and feeding of the mogwai Gizmo, and Peltzer passes the rules along to his son, Billy (Zach Galligan).
How to use it: To comment on any person or animal who seems excessively high-maintenance.
Happy birthday to Gary Fleder, cherished friend of my youth, who has actually grown up to do all the things he said he wanted to do when we were teenagers. Don't worry, Gary, this quotation is not about you.
In fact, I wasn't thinking of anyone in particular; I just wanted a quotation from Gremlins, because no one ever mentions Gremlins when they talk about great Christmas movies. The movie is a very dark cautionary tale about what happens to people who don't take proper care of their belongings... I wouldn't show it to kids, because it's quite scary and violent, and Phoebe Cates' character's story about why she hates Christmas is awful.
Ashton and I were all over Washington yesterday -- downtown, Foggy Bottom, Chevy Chase, Friendship Heights -- doing some Christmas shopping. Driving around Washington takes time, because the city was not designed for automobiles; it was designed, at least in part, to prevent an invading army from moving across town quickly.
I've been thinking about whether to look for part-time work in Portland, just to get me out of the apartment a few times a week, but the idea of the 45-minute drive from Gardiner to Portland gave me pause. Then I remembered that on any given day in Washington, it could take me 45 minutes to drive the four miles from my old house in upper Northwest to my office on 18th Street.
Saturday, December 18, 2004
"The Dude abides."
The Movie: The Big Lebowski, 1998 (Joel & Ethan Coen, screenwriters; Joel Coen, dir.)
Who says it: Jeff Bridges as Jeff Lebowski, the Dude; Sam Elliott as The Stranger
The context: After solving a mystery, almost getting killed, and losing his rug and one of his best friends, the Dude is back at his favorite bowling alley (the Hollywood Star Lanes, now sadly passed into memory).
How to use it: To calm yourself down.
Yesterday's trip: 626 miles, 1.5 tanks of gas, approximately $20 in tolls ($5.00 just to get in and out of Delaware)
Stops: Portsmouth, N.H.; Newport, R.I.; Thomas Edison rest stop, N.J.; Washington, D.C.
What I learned: Too long a trip for one day.
Maybe it wouldn't have been too long a trip without the detour to Newport. I listened to all of Dubliners on tape, with the last lines of "The Dead" coming just as I crossed into New Jersey. That stretch of highway is grotesque by daylight, but at night all the lights and smokestacks of Newark are weirdly beautiful. If aliens landed there after dark, they wouldn't have the slightest idea of what they were seeing.
Dizzy and I went to the small park at 17th and S this morning. He was very excited to see grass again.
Who says it: Jeff Bridges as Jeff Lebowski, the Dude; Sam Elliott as The Stranger
The context: After solving a mystery, almost getting killed, and losing his rug and one of his best friends, the Dude is back at his favorite bowling alley (the Hollywood Star Lanes, now sadly passed into memory).
How to use it: To calm yourself down.
Yesterday's trip: 626 miles, 1.5 tanks of gas, approximately $20 in tolls ($5.00 just to get in and out of Delaware)
Stops: Portsmouth, N.H.; Newport, R.I.; Thomas Edison rest stop, N.J.; Washington, D.C.
What I learned: Too long a trip for one day.
Maybe it wouldn't have been too long a trip without the detour to Newport. I listened to all of Dubliners on tape, with the last lines of "The Dead" coming just as I crossed into New Jersey. That stretch of highway is grotesque by daylight, but at night all the lights and smokestacks of Newark are weirdly beautiful. If aliens landed there after dark, they wouldn't have the slightest idea of what they were seeing.
Dizzy and I went to the small park at 17th and S this morning. He was very excited to see grass again.
Friday, December 17, 2004
“Stay on the road. Keep clear of the moors.”
The Movie: An American Werewolf in London, 1981 (John Landis, screenwriter and director)
Who says it: David Schofield as an anonymous dart player in a country pub
The context: The dart player says this to David (David Naughton) and Jack (Griffith Dunne), American students hiking around England. Of course, David and Jack wind up on the moors, where a terrible fate awaits them.
How to use it: Good travel advice, even in werewolf-free areas.
Dizzy and I are on our way south this morning. The goal is Washington, DC, which I expect to hit around 10:00 tonight.
We'll see how Dizzy does when he realizes this is another long car trip. He was thrilled to see the Beetle again, when I got it back after the accident; every day since then, he trots right over to the car to say hello and pee on a tire.
Last night I met Mary and Jerry Maschino at a wine-tasting at the A1-to-Go. It was the last time I'll see them until spring, because they head south for the entire winter. Mary gave me an amazing book from her father's collection: Adrift on an Ice Pan, the 1909 memoir of a medical missionary to the Labrador coast. I love stories of Arctic and Antarctic adventure, and this book is such a treat I want to read it a page at a time, so it lasts longer. This Dr. Grenfell might have done better to stay on the road, but if he had, who would remember him now?
Who says it: David Schofield as an anonymous dart player in a country pub
The context: The dart player says this to David (David Naughton) and Jack (Griffith Dunne), American students hiking around England. Of course, David and Jack wind up on the moors, where a terrible fate awaits them.
How to use it: Good travel advice, even in werewolf-free areas.
Dizzy and I are on our way south this morning. The goal is Washington, DC, which I expect to hit around 10:00 tonight.
We'll see how Dizzy does when he realizes this is another long car trip. He was thrilled to see the Beetle again, when I got it back after the accident; every day since then, he trots right over to the car to say hello and pee on a tire.
Last night I met Mary and Jerry Maschino at a wine-tasting at the A1-to-Go. It was the last time I'll see them until spring, because they head south for the entire winter. Mary gave me an amazing book from her father's collection: Adrift on an Ice Pan, the 1909 memoir of a medical missionary to the Labrador coast. I love stories of Arctic and Antarctic adventure, and this book is such a treat I want to read it a page at a time, so it lasts longer. This Dr. Grenfell might have done better to stay on the road, but if he had, who would remember him now?
Thursday, December 16, 2004
“There’s out, and then there’s out.”
The Movie: My Favorite Year, 1982 (Dennis Palumbo and Norman Steinberg, screenwriters; Richard Benjamin, dir.)
Who says it: Peter O’Toole as Alan Swann, former matinee idol and hopeless drunk
The context: Swann explains to the young writer Benjy Stone (Mark Linn-Baker) how he heard something while apparently passed out.
How to use it: To insist that you really were paying attention. No, really.
Somehow the days slipped by, and we're only nine days from Christmas. If I weren't superstitious about announcing any plans related to my car, I might say that Dizzy and I are headed south tomorrow. Instead, I'll just say that the car is at the mechanic's right now, having its oil changed and everything checked very carefully, just in case anyone wants to drive it 1,600 miles over the holidays.
Theresa Schwegel, one of my clients, has sold her first novel, Officer Down, to St. Martin's Minotaur. The draft of Officer Down I read was already terrific, so it should be a great success; it'll be published next fall. It's always so encouraging to see good work rewarded. Congratulations, Theresa.
Who says it: Peter O’Toole as Alan Swann, former matinee idol and hopeless drunk
The context: Swann explains to the young writer Benjy Stone (Mark Linn-Baker) how he heard something while apparently passed out.
How to use it: To insist that you really were paying attention. No, really.
Somehow the days slipped by, and we're only nine days from Christmas. If I weren't superstitious about announcing any plans related to my car, I might say that Dizzy and I are headed south tomorrow. Instead, I'll just say that the car is at the mechanic's right now, having its oil changed and everything checked very carefully, just in case anyone wants to drive it 1,600 miles over the holidays.
Theresa Schwegel, one of my clients, has sold her first novel, Officer Down, to St. Martin's Minotaur. The draft of Officer Down I read was already terrific, so it should be a great success; it'll be published next fall. It's always so encouraging to see good work rewarded. Congratulations, Theresa.
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
“It is beyond my control.”
The Movie: Dangerous Liaisons, 1988 (Christopher Hampton, screenwriter, from his play, from the novel by Choderlos de Laclos; Stephen Frears, dir.)
Who says it: John Malkovich as the Vicomte de Valmont
The context: The Vicomte is brutally discarding his mistress, the formerly virtuous Madame de Tourvel (Michelle Pfeiffer).
How to use it: When you’re doing something terrible, and not apologizing.
I don't think I'm doing anything terrible today, but it's still early.
While I don't want to turn this blog into a weather report, I would like to note that it is 9 degrees outside my door this morning. Nine, as in one less than ten, as in 23 less than the freezing point, as in -13 Celsius, for those of you reading outside the United States.
And what 9 degrees is, is very, very, very cold. Very. Cold. Cold enough that Dizzy's chin whiskers were needle-thin icicles -- I'm not kidding -- when we got back from the cemetery this morning. Cold enough that when I took the turnpike up to Augusta last night, my window was frozen shut and I had to open my door to pay the toll.
It is interesting to notice how much colder 9 degrees is than, say, 25 degrees, and how much colder 25 is than 35. The temperature was in the low 30s the other morning, and one of my neighbors was shoveling his driveway in shorts. And here I was thinking I wouldn't need my summer clothes until July.
Who says it: John Malkovich as the Vicomte de Valmont
The context: The Vicomte is brutally discarding his mistress, the formerly virtuous Madame de Tourvel (Michelle Pfeiffer).
How to use it: When you’re doing something terrible, and not apologizing.
I don't think I'm doing anything terrible today, but it's still early.
While I don't want to turn this blog into a weather report, I would like to note that it is 9 degrees outside my door this morning. Nine, as in one less than ten, as in 23 less than the freezing point, as in -13 Celsius, for those of you reading outside the United States.
And what 9 degrees is, is very, very, very cold. Very. Cold. Cold enough that Dizzy's chin whiskers were needle-thin icicles -- I'm not kidding -- when we got back from the cemetery this morning. Cold enough that when I took the turnpike up to Augusta last night, my window was frozen shut and I had to open my door to pay the toll.
It is interesting to notice how much colder 9 degrees is than, say, 25 degrees, and how much colder 25 is than 35. The temperature was in the low 30s the other morning, and one of my neighbors was shoveling his driveway in shorts. And here I was thinking I wouldn't need my summer clothes until July.
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
“Sometimes nothin’ can be a real cool hand.”
The Movie: Cool Hand Luke, 1967 (Donn Pearce, screenwriter, from his novel; Stuart Rosenberg, dir.)
Who says it: Paul Newman as Luke, a hardened criminal and prison escapee
The context: Luke has just won a poker game on a bluff.
How to use it: When you’re surfing the universe unprepared.
In the movie Serendipity, Kate Beckinsale's character asks John Cusack's character what his favorite movie is, and he says, "The correct answer is Cool Hand Luke." This is one of those movies, like Deliverance, that speaks to something deep within the Y chromosome; I admit I don't get it. Plus, the scene with the hard-boiled eggs makes me want to hurl.
Nevertheless, this is an excellent line. I live a shockingly irresponsible life for someone my age; I am always surfing the universe unprepared, and this year in particular that has taxed my friends and family -- which I apologize for, and appreciate more than words can express. But things seem to be -- I want to whisper this -- falling back into place, and I feel a dangerous sense of optimism as we approach the new year.
Happy birthday to my dear friend Deidre Sullivan -- author, screenwriter, performance artist and personal guru. The only reason she's not running the world is because she doesn't want to.
Who says it: Paul Newman as Luke, a hardened criminal and prison escapee
The context: Luke has just won a poker game on a bluff.
How to use it: When you’re surfing the universe unprepared.
In the movie Serendipity, Kate Beckinsale's character asks John Cusack's character what his favorite movie is, and he says, "The correct answer is Cool Hand Luke." This is one of those movies, like Deliverance, that speaks to something deep within the Y chromosome; I admit I don't get it. Plus, the scene with the hard-boiled eggs makes me want to hurl.
Nevertheless, this is an excellent line. I live a shockingly irresponsible life for someone my age; I am always surfing the universe unprepared, and this year in particular that has taxed my friends and family -- which I apologize for, and appreciate more than words can express. But things seem to be -- I want to whisper this -- falling back into place, and I feel a dangerous sense of optimism as we approach the new year.
Happy birthday to my dear friend Deidre Sullivan -- author, screenwriter, performance artist and personal guru. The only reason she's not running the world is because she doesn't want to.
Monday, December 13, 2004
"Coffee is for closers."
The Movie: Glengarry Glen Ross, 1992 (David Mamet, screenwriter; James Foley, dir.)
Who says it: Alec Baldwin as Blake, the aggressive new manager of a real estate sales office
The context: Blake is denying coffee to his struggling sales force.
How to use it: To hold someone -- or yourself -- to an unreasonable standard.
One of the signs of addiction is that the substance no longer makes the addict feel better, it just makes her feel normal. If that's the standard, I've been addicted to coffee for an embarrassingly long time. I miss those ads that used to run in the 1980s... scenes of people doing gymnastics, roller-skating, and otherwise racing around, with ELO singing, "Hold on tight to your dreams," and a voice promising that coffee was "the calm moment... that gives you the serenity to imagine it, and the vitality to do it."
It's probably too late to sue those people for false advertising.
Lots of work to finish today, in part because I did very little yesterday afternoon but watch The Princess Bride again on cable and read most of Peter Ackroyd's latest novel. I considered using another quotation from The Princess Bride today, and I probably will within the next few days -- without much effort, this whole blog could be nothing but quotes from The Princess Bride, The Wizard of Oz, and the complete works of Christopher Guest.
If I get everything done today, though, it leaves the rest of the week free for Christmas shopping... or I could just buy everything from my cousin Sheila's website. She has some art prints up on EBay, too, if anyone needs something for their walls -- go to "advanced search," and look for items from the seller "Hollywoodkit."
Who says it: Alec Baldwin as Blake, the aggressive new manager of a real estate sales office
The context: Blake is denying coffee to his struggling sales force.
How to use it: To hold someone -- or yourself -- to an unreasonable standard.
One of the signs of addiction is that the substance no longer makes the addict feel better, it just makes her feel normal. If that's the standard, I've been addicted to coffee for an embarrassingly long time. I miss those ads that used to run in the 1980s... scenes of people doing gymnastics, roller-skating, and otherwise racing around, with ELO singing, "Hold on tight to your dreams," and a voice promising that coffee was "the calm moment... that gives you the serenity to imagine it, and the vitality to do it."
It's probably too late to sue those people for false advertising.
Lots of work to finish today, in part because I did very little yesterday afternoon but watch The Princess Bride again on cable and read most of Peter Ackroyd's latest novel. I considered using another quotation from The Princess Bride today, and I probably will within the next few days -- without much effort, this whole blog could be nothing but quotes from The Princess Bride, The Wizard of Oz, and the complete works of Christopher Guest.
If I get everything done today, though, it leaves the rest of the week free for Christmas shopping... or I could just buy everything from my cousin Sheila's website. She has some art prints up on EBay, too, if anyone needs something for their walls -- go to "advanced search," and look for items from the seller "Hollywoodkit."
Sunday, December 12, 2004
“Someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets.”
The Movie: Taxi Driver, 1976 (Paul Schrader, screenwriter; Martin Scorsese, dir.)
Who says it: Robert DeNiro as taxi driver Travis Bickle
The context: Travis is driving around New York City, watching the rain come down.
How to use it: To comment – ironically, please – on urban decay.
I used to say this all the time when it rained in L.A. I wonder if I'll ever be able to live in a city again.
This morning Dizzy and I met another of our neighbors, Will, who lives around the corner with his wife and their four-year-old and their Alaskan Husky, Silver. Dizzy loves snow dogs.
Anyway, Will is a police officer for the city of Portland, and he and his family moved here from Memphis two years ago. We were talking about how different it is up here, how peaceful. In Memphis, he said, he might respond to three shootings a night; up here, even knife fights are rare.
Dizzy slept until 11:00 this morning, a new record for him and one that I appreciated very much. Too much frolicking at Anna and Tarren's yesterday, I guess. I bought him a new squeaky duck, which entertained Anna's dad, Jerry, as much as it pleased Dizzy.
My aunt Kit reminded me that of course Dizzy had seen a Christmas tree before -- at my cousins Kathleen and Mark's, last year and the year before.
Who says it: Robert DeNiro as taxi driver Travis Bickle
The context: Travis is driving around New York City, watching the rain come down.
How to use it: To comment – ironically, please – on urban decay.
I used to say this all the time when it rained in L.A. I wonder if I'll ever be able to live in a city again.
This morning Dizzy and I met another of our neighbors, Will, who lives around the corner with his wife and their four-year-old and their Alaskan Husky, Silver. Dizzy loves snow dogs.
Anyway, Will is a police officer for the city of Portland, and he and his family moved here from Memphis two years ago. We were talking about how different it is up here, how peaceful. In Memphis, he said, he might respond to three shootings a night; up here, even knife fights are rare.
Dizzy slept until 11:00 this morning, a new record for him and one that I appreciated very much. Too much frolicking at Anna and Tarren's yesterday, I guess. I bought him a new squeaky duck, which entertained Anna's dad, Jerry, as much as it pleased Dizzy.
My aunt Kit reminded me that of course Dizzy had seen a Christmas tree before -- at my cousins Kathleen and Mark's, last year and the year before.
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