Friday, November 13, 2009
Special Guest Blog: Five Ways to Save the Environment from Juan of MUNDO JAZZ
From the Mundo Jazz website: "What can one say about a band whose songs convey the dangers of environmental degradation, the importance of racial harmony and the inherent evils of capitalism with subtlety and intelligence? One can say they are called Neil Young and Crazy Horse. Mundo Jazz, however, preach peace, love and understanding with all the subtlety of a brick hitting butter, through their ridiculously catchy songs, awful dancing and thunderously crass philosophizing." Mundo Jazz's lead singer, Juan Pablo Colon, has graciously agreed to guest-blog for me today, as I'm on deadline and getting ready for tonight's opening of DOUBT at Aqua City Actors Theatre in Waterville.
Brother and Sister,
Today is my honour to be ask by answergirl (is real name Cler) to write five things to save the enviroment. So, I start by explaining the enviroment. The enviroment is like a forest in Brazil, full of indios and snakes and flying frogs. If these frogs and so on die, who cares? Nobody like frogs, you say. Maybe you say my brother Luis touch a frog once and get a rash. Well I tell you, if those frog dies, then the ozone that we breath will be gone forever, so tell your kids — don't be a ass and stop destroying the enviroment. Here is some ways you can help:
1. Open your heart, open your fridge. Global warming is real! Get used to it mister Bush! You are a asshole. If we all take the door off the refrigerator is going to cool the amosphere sinificantly and probably solve the problem.
2. Stop the Chaos! According to Chaos theory (science) if a butterfly is flab his wing in the rainforest, it cause a tornado in Texas. So lets save Texas, kill as many butterfiles as possible before they get the chance. Texas has a lot of problems but they have a right to survive as well and shouldn't just get tornadoed because of these fluttering fiends of the skies. And we do not disrespect Texas for being fat and stupid people with a cowboy hat who eat burger all the time.
3. DO you really nead to use your car? Stop drivin around all the place fatty. If you walk every wear you will stop pumping gas into the air and also not look like somebody put pants on a zeppelin. You should ALWAYS buy a hybrid if possible (example a Mercedes/Benz) and only have one car unless you need two one for gigs and such and one for drivin around lookin good that is part of the job description of a musician.
4. Use energy bulbs in your lights. This will have the added bonas that you can see what you are doing at night.
5. That's all for now.
6. OK wait I thought of another. No, it's gone.
7. Oh yeah: Don't waist water. Water is a precious resauce, it comes from rivers and the sea. If we keep using water at the rate you are doing now, soon the sea will be gone and the fish will crawl onto land and evolve into dinosores again and look what happen last time. All sorts of shit will kick off. People will be running from tyranosaurus and the one with the three horns – unless it eat plants, but still is probably dangerous. Just by virchew of size, is enormous, about the size of three football stadiums (soccer not american football I don't know about this size you are asking the wrong guy) they will not be able to get the earth back online and then we all escape in a jip, but some is get eaten on the way.
I commend to you the future is in your hands!
X Peace! J*U*A*N
Um . . . thanks, Juan! If you're in the UK, you can catch Mundo Jazz live in concert between now and the end of the year; check out the tour schedule here. Those in other parts of the world can still experience the wonders of Mundo Jazz through podcasting. Juan says, "Fight capitalism — but not with guns!"