Tuesday, March 22, 2005

“It's a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham.”

The Movie: Bananas, 1971 (Woody Allen and Mickey Rose, screenwriters; Woody Allen, dir.)
Who says it: Former consumer products tester, rebel leader and banana dictator Fielding Mellish (Woody Allen)
The context: Mellish, acting as his own attorney, describes his trial on charges of treason.
How to use it: In righteous indignation.

Thanks to my brother Ed for reminding me of this quotation, which I'd pulled to use last summer, but never got to. Anyway, this is my last comment on Terri Schiavo, may she rest in peace. For the record, I don't consider food and water (or, as the doctors say, "nutrition and hydration") to be artificial life support. I'm signing a document that says not to keep me on a respirator, but for God's sake, don't let me starve to death.

By popular demand, today's entry is another list -- this one of things I like that no one else does, which was a much more difficult list than the earlier two.

Ten Unpopular Things I Like Anyway

1. Parsnips.
2. Beets.
3. Those orange circus peanuts that feel like pencil erasers. I can only eat one or two before I feel sick, but that first one is always an adventure.
4. John McEnroe's talk show, now sadly gone. I was the only one in America who watched it, and they couldn't keep producing it just for me.
5. The second season of "Twin Peaks."
6. The later works of Donny Osmond -- in particular, "This is the Moment," a CD of show tunes he put out a few years ago. I'm not kidding about this.
7. The smell of chlorine. It reminds me of childhood summers.
8. Spinach in anything.
9. Flight delays. No, really -- I get a lot of reading done, I've met some very interesting people in airports, and in the days before wireless Internet and cell phones, time in airports and planes was the only time I was completely inaccessible.
10. Giving blood. Of course I don't like needles, but there's something really fascinating about watching my own blood slither down a tube and into that clear plastic bag.

And that's enough over-sharing for one day.


Anonymous said...

I didn't realize I was referencing Woody Allen when I wrote that St. Patrick's Day had becone a farce of a mockery of a charicature of a tragicomedy. I like my phrasing better anyway.

Not for nothing, Woody Allen would come close to topping my list of things I hate that a lot of people seem to enjoy. (_Bananas_ did have its moments, but that was before, well, you know.) Also on that list would be jeans, fancy sneakers, and any popular R&B song recorded after 1988, the heyday of Tone, Tony, and Toni. Where are you, Smokey, Holland/Dozier, Marvin Gaye, and Eddie Kendricks, now that we need you more than ever? (Dead, in some cases. But that's only partly their own fault.)

Things I Like That a Lot of People Don't

1. Fruitcake
2. The movies _Malibu's Most Wanted_ and _Hell Comes to Frogtown_
3. The bands Ratt and Triumph
4. Boz Scaggs
5. As a nonsmoker, smoke-filled bars
6. Cold drizzle (very refreshing, especially after a smoke-filled bar)
7. Scrapple

-- Ed

AnswerGirl said...

ooh, I should have put fruitcake on my list, too. And I also like Boz Scaggs...

Tom Ehrenfeld said...

Well I gotta join the Lido Shuffle too--so my first pick is also:

1. Boz Scaggs
2. Jeff Daniels (and not just for his stellar work in Dumb & Dumber--that there is no comic center of this movie without him....)
3. Bounce by Sondheim
4. Action the tv series. One of the funniest shows. Ever.
5. The Letterman Oscars.
6. C-Span, especially Book Notes (alas.)
7. Turner and Hooch
8. Paying my taxes. Really. Doing it right makes me feel good. I'm so bloody sick of the idea of taxes being inherently evil and bad. Do people want to have a government? Can we shift the entire way we talk about this to "fair" taxation instead? And, like, do away with this new gimmick of "tax holidays" in states like mine where everybody gets a free day in the year to avoid sales tax for items. This is a holiday? We suddenly spark impulse buying for a day so folks can put big-ticket items on credit cards so as to avoid state taxes, ending up paying that money--times ten--to MBNA? Oh. I'm ranting.
9. We Are The World.
10. Jocelyn Elders.

Aldo said...

I'm the quality of life guy. I wouldn't want to live like this, but I agree, her basic needs are being met. I'm no position to decide someone else's quality of life.

My ten Unpopular things:
1. Vinyl records
2. Cars that I can actually fix ( 20 years or older. Nothing beats the fact that you can sit in that engine compartment and see the ground below!)
3. Ice Skating
4. Liver
5. Disco - love to dance
6. Palm Springs in the summer
7. Arguements - should have been a lawyer - that would make me unpopular.
8. Three Stooges
9. Corndogs on sticks
10. Underdogs.

Anonymous said...

From Susan:
1. Anchovies
2. Mayonaise!
3. Mandy Patinkin. Singing, acting, whatever. He does nothing if he can't overdo it.
4. Reruns of King of the Hill. I may have been the only one who watched it because my Fox affiliate replaced it starting Monday with infomercials.
5. Bald men. I'm constantly surprised at the number of men and women who despise the mere concept of baldness.
6. Steven Tyler of Aerosmith. HOT!
7. Giving blood/platelets. For diffrent reasons fom Clair's. I like the reclining chairs, that they give you a blanket if you ask for it and you get a snack when you're done.
8. Leftovers
9. Hamburger and Tuna Helper
10. HBO's The Wire. Not a lot of people watch it, but for my money it's the best show on TV, period.