Thursday, October 08, 2009
Five Things Dizzy Knows
A busy, distracted, inconvenient day, and I apologize for the lateness of today's post. Check back tomorrow for a special treat. In the meantime, Dizzy offers these simple truths.
1. Bacon is good. Crispy bacon is best, but raw bacon is also fine. Canadian bacon is chewier than streaky bacon. Beggin' Strips will do in a pinch; turkey bacon is interesting but not as good as regular turkey or regular bacon. Veggie bacon is not food (which is saying something, considering how broadly Dizzy defines "food").
2. Squirrels are bad. All they do is steal stuff and taunt dogs. They chatter away and make no sense; they ransack bird feeders; they run too fast to be caught. Sometimes they're dead on the road, which seems fair. Cats are marginally better than squirrels, but only because they produce tasty snacks (see parenthesis in Item #1).
3. Riding in cars is better with the windows down. You only really know where you are if you can smell it.
4. Getting wet can be fun, but it's way more fun to be toweled off. Getting rubbed down with a towel is seriously one of the most enjoyable sensations life offers. It is worth almost any opportunity to get wet, including baths.
5. All toys eventually lose their squeakers. Few things are more satisfying than a new squeaky toy, but all good things come to an end. Even the best toy will someday stop squeaking, at which point the only thing to do is tear the toy apart, rip out the squeaker, and wait for your owner to buy you a new toy.