Tuesday, July 12, 2005

“I’m too old for this *@#$!”

The Movie: Lethal Weapon, 1987 (Shane Black, screenwriter; Richard Donner, dir.); also, Lethal Weapons 2, 3 and 4. Why mess with a good catchphrase?
Who says it: Danny Glover as LAPD Sergeant Roger Murtaugh
The context: Murtaugh’s new partner, Martin Riggs (Mel Gibson), gets him into harm’s way a little too often.
How to use it: Aggravations past the age of 35 or so.

Have I mentioned that I'm turning 40 this year? Oh, I have? It doesn't bother me. No, really. Turning 25, for some reason, bothered me. Turning 29 bothered me. Turning 30 bothered me not at all, and the prospect of 40 feels almost like a relief. Maybe I'll quit coloring my hair, and let the gray hairs that first surfaced at 16 have their way.

The age-related indignities have already begun, though. I went to the eye doctor yesterday, and left with my first prescription for -- arrgh -- bifocals.

It wasn't a surprise. I've been able to go without my glasses or contacts for most of the past year, because my mild myopia had reached a delicate equilibrium with adult-onset farsightedness. My eye doctor had warned me, though, that this wouldn't last long, and that the next stop would be bifocals.

So here we are. I have a new pair of contact lenses, and a pair of reading glasses to go with them. The bifocals arrive next week; thank goodness, they're progressive lenses, without the visible line, so I don't have to feel too humiliated.

I will store them in my bathroom medicine cabinet, right next to the Oil of Olay Regenerist Daily Regenerating Serum. Which, by the way, does not seem to be working. Maybe I'm not supposed to be drinking it.


JJ said...

Just remember two things:

40 is the new 25


Ray Kurzweil says we're less than 20 years away from being able to prolong life indefinitely.

Anonymous said...

Why would anyone want to live forever? Chronus devoured his own children which is just another metaphor for the fact that time destroys evertything. To live forever means that in the long run, everything you love and every accomplishment will end before you do!
On the other hand, until the next three martini lunch and steak dinner would be nice.

AnswerGirl said...

Yeah, I agree with that... I certainly don't want to outlive everyone who has a right to call me by my first (or middle) name. That long-ago fortune-teller in Annapolis told me I'd live to be 86, and that sounds about right to me.

Anonymous said...

I did a fitness test (online, naturally!) that Pam's dad sent around and according to this VERY wise calculation with my current weight and lackadaisical couch potatoE happiness, I'll live to be 92! Can't beat that--bring on the M&M's...