Tuesday, July 19, 2005

“You should not drink and bake.”

The Movie: Raw Deal, 1986 (Gary DeVore and Norman Wexler, screenwriters, from a story by Luciano Vincenzoni and Sergio Donati; John Irvin, dir.)
Who says it: Arnold Schwarzenegger as ex-FBI agent turned sheriff Mark Kaminsky
The context: Kaminsky’s alcoholic, rage-filled wife (Blanche Baker) has just hurled a cake at him.
How to use it: Funny in any kitchen-related situation.

Thank goodness for IMDb -- I have been misquoting this line as "You should not drink and cook," for all these years. It would have been appropriate last week, when I was making all those pies, but I actually don't drink when I cook. I'm accident-prone enough in the kitchen as it is... a burn blister on my right index finger is peeling away in layers, and I have no memory whatsoever of getting this burn. Guess it didn't hurt very much.

"Why do I feel so good in Target, and so bad in Wal-Mart?" Anna asked last night as we roamed the aisles of south Portland's finest discount store.

"Class," Jen said, and while I think she meant that Target has class and Wal-Mart does not, it's equally accurate about our own class sensitivities. Nasty little children of privilege that we are, we feel that Target is a place for People Like Us, and Wal-Mart is... not. Disgusting, isn't it? Now I am going to have to spend some serious time at Wal-Mart in atonement. Maybe I'll even apply to be a greeter.

But I too feel tremendous comfort in Target, a clean, well-lighted place of endless abundance. I bought a rack for my CDs, which I'm unpacking at last... the rack only holds 180 CDs, and my collection now stands somewhere well over 200, but it's a start.

I've been rummaging through the boxes for the past seven months, but unpacking has still turned up old friends I'd forgotten I had: Carmina Burana. The first Concrete Blonde album. The Pretty in Pink soundtrack (shut up, I love it). Every so often, I think about upgrading to an iPod, but it would take me weeks to convert my collection. And what would I do without liner notes?


Anonymous said...

Therese just got an iPod mini--must say it's pretty darn cool. Now Thomas wants one for his Operas...


JJ said...

A friend of mine's parents came to visit him recently and on the first evening decided to go to Target (as if they didn't have those back home) so his mother urged him to hurry and get dressed up. When my friend asked why they had to dress up to go to Target, his mother replied, "It's a supercenter."

So there.

Peggy & Scott said...

You wouldn't beleive how excited we were to have a Target open ONE MILE from our house. Not just a Target but a BRAND NEW TARGET! With a Starbucks in it! Should I be ashamed to say we even had dinner there last night? They sell Pizza Hut personal pan pizzas which Scott swears are better than the ones you get at an actual Pizza Hut! I've only been to Wal Mart once in the past month thats down from twice a week. What does all this say about us?

AnswerGirl said...

I think it's pretty clear that we're Target's -- uh -- target market. But I do not yet feel the need to dress up to shop there.

Anonymous said...

Some great lines are written, others are delivered. In this case, the delivery makes the moment: Arnold in his early years, the accent thicker than his neck, and best of all delivered with full heroic earnestness, creating a campy moment rich beyond anything imagined.

(Tom here--away from home so posting anonymously)

Anonymous said...

Well, I'm back on line. It only took four calls to my ISP and the ones where the tech had an Indian accent were a disaster!
I have not been in a WalMart or a Target in years. If you want to see real trash visit a Zayres. There are still some around. They make WalMart look like Nieman Marcus.
While I have been offline, there have been a lot of lines I would have commented on, but I will let them go.
Do you remember the Joy of Cooking book with the spiral burn marks on the cover? Eenough said.

AnswerGirl said...

Dad, that is a complete libel. Kathy is the one who set the cookbook on fire. I was the one who dropped the pie on the floor.