The Movie: Batman Returns, 1992 (Daniel Waters, screenwriter, from characters by Bob Kane; Tim Burton, dir.)
Who says it: Michelle Pfeiffer as Selina Kyle, who turns into Catwoman
The context: Selina says this to her cat every night when she gets home, including the night she’s killed and comes back to life as Catwoman.
How to use it: Any single woman can make herself laugh with this line.
Not only am I not married, but I don't have a home, so theoretically I should get two laughs out of this line. Dizzy and I moved over to my cousins Sheila's and Greg's last night, because the car was not fixed. Did anyone think it would be? Maybe it will be fixed today.
If it's fixed this morning, I might try to leave this afternoon. If it's not ready until this afternoon -- or, God forbid, not until Monday -- I will stay here until October 11, because there's no point to driving out to New England and then having to turn right back around.
The old folktales tell about people who accepted invitations to fairy lands, and then were never allowed to leave again -- or, if they did manage to leave, they found that dozens or even hundreds of years had passed. I wonder if I'd have moved to Los Angeles if I'd known I would never be allowed to leave.
Of course, just like the mythical fairy lands, people don't age here. So I got that going for me.