Saturday, November 27, 2004

“You’ll shoot your eye out!”

The Movie: A Christmas Story, 1983 (Jean Shepherd, Leigh Brown, and Bob Clark, from the novel by Jean Shepherd; Bob Clark, dir.)
Who says it: Melinda Dillon as Ralphie’s Mom, Tedde Moore as Miss Shields, and Jeff Gillen as Santa Claus
The context: All Ralphie (Peter Billingsley) wants for Christmas is an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle… but this is the response he gets.
How to use it: In response to someone else’s wish for something that probably won’t be good for them.

Santa Claus arrives in Gardiner this morning at the town's Christmas parade. My belief is Santa Claus is well-documented, and I'll doubtless return to this theme during the holiday season, but it does trouble me to see so many impostors running around. Of course, if Santa Claus were an author, he wouldn't make any appearances before Christmas, preferring to wait until Christmas Day to show up and accept praise and thanks from grateful children everywhere.

People have said to me several times, when I mentioned I was looking for one item or another, "Oh, you might have to go to the May-Maw," or, "Yeah, you'll probably find one at the May-Maw." It took me a while to realize that what they were saying was Maine Mall, which is this huge shopping mecca just outside of Portland. Not quite as big as Potomac Mills or Cabazon, bigger than Tysons Corner. I drove by there yesterday, took one look at the parking lots, and drove on.

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