“Here is my Christmas speech. ‘Thank you all, and Merry Christmas.’”

The Movie: The Muppet Christmas Carol, 1992 (Jerry Juhl, screenwriter, from the story by Charles Dickens; Brian Henson, dir.)
Who says it: Frank Oz as the voice of Fozzie Bear, playing Scrooge’s employer Fezziwig
The context: Fezziwig is throwing his traditional Christmas party for his workers, including a young Ebenezer Scrooge (Michael Caine).
How to use it: When called upon to make a Christmas speech. As Statler (Jerry Nelson) and Waldorf (Dave Goelz) point out in the movie, it’s short.

The whole family isn't together this year, but my brother James is coming over and Susan, Peggy and Scott and the boys are driving down from Richmond this morning, and everyone is healthy and cheerful.

Merry Christmas to everyone, and tidings of comfort and joy. I'm taking the rest of the day off.